Energetic Cord-Cutting: Why Your Intention Is the Most Powerful Tool You Have
Releasing What No Longer Serves, One Bay Leaf at a Time
Wendi Kehn/Hellbloom Haven (Also featured on Substack & Medium)
Jan 05, 2026
Section 1 – Where Cord-Cutting Comes From: A Gentle Look at the Roots of Release
Cord-cutting as we talk about it today, writing names on bay leaves, cutting strings, using candles and twine, or burning paper, is a modern interpretation. The language is new, but the ritual of releasing energetic ties is ancient. It’s something our ancestors understood intuitively, even if they never used the words “energy cord.”
In nearly every culture, people have turned to symbolic acts to sever spiritual or emotional connections and reclaim their personal power.
Here are some of the traditions and threads this work is woven from:
Folk Magic & Knot Work (Europe & the British Isles)
In traditional European folk magic, cords, knots, and thread were powerful tools used to represent binding, union, and unbinding. Witches, healers, and wise women would tie knots during spells, to bind love, to seal protection, or to “catch” illness. And just as easily, knots or cords could be untied, cut, or burned to symbolically release someone from a bond, break a curse, or dissolve a spiritual attachment.
In Scottish and Irish traditions, thread was sometimes tied in ritual around a person’s wrist or bedpost, then cut at sunrise as part of a healing or releasing practice.
The idea was simple but profound: what is tied can be untied. What is bound can be released.
Candle + Cord Rituals (Modern Neo-Paganism)
The common ritual many people use today, two candles with a string tied between them, slowly burning through the cord, is mostly associated with Wicca and modern witchcraft, which developed in the mid-20th century.
While Wicca itself is relatively new, it draws from older folk magic and ceremonial traditions, blending them into structured rituals for things like cord-cutting, protection, and healing.
In this version:
- One candle represents you
- One candle represents the person or situation
- The string represents the energetic tie
- The burning/cutting represents the severing
It’s beautiful and symbolic, but again, what matters is the intention, not the format.
Energy Healing & Subtle Body Work (India + Global Chakra Systems)
In yogic and energy-based systems, we understand the body as having a subtle energy field, or prana system, with chakras as key energetic centers. Cords are believed to form between people through these centers, especially the heart chakra (love + grief) and the sacral chakra (intimacy + emotions).
While there’s no literal cutting of cords in ancient texts, spiritual practices like:
- Meditation
- Breathwork (pranayama)
- Mantra
- Visualization
…have long been used to clear energy, detach from others, and purify the self.
This approach emphasizes internal clearing, with the body and breath as the primary tools for release.
Cleansing & Uncrossing (African Diaspora + Indigenous Traditions)
In Afro-Caribbean, Hoodoo, and Rootwork traditions, there are powerful rituals for uncrossing, cleansing, and removing lingering spiritual ties. While you may not hear the phrase “cord-cutting,” the work is energetically identical.
Practitioners use:
- Spiritual baths (with herbs like hyssop, rue, salt)
- Egg cleansing
- Candle work
- Water rituals
- Petitions and prayers to ancestors or spirits
These acts are done to cleanse, clear, and protect someone from ongoing energetic entanglements, harmful attachments, or spiritual debris left behind from relationships or trauma.
Psychology Meets Symbolism (Modern Integration)
Even outside of spiritual circles, therapists and healers recognize the power of symbolic closure.
In therapy, they use:
- Gestalt techniques (like talking to an empty chair)
- Letter writing and burning
- Somatic release (to let the body finish what the mind can’t)
These aren’t called “cord-cuttings,” but they serve the same purpose, to help us let go of something that’s already ended, but still living in our system.
That’s what ritual does. It helps us finish what our body, mind, or soul still feels tied to.
The Throughline: Ritual as a Universal Language
What all of these paths have in common is this:
Release is a sacred act.
We’ve always needed ways to mark endings, clear our space, and call ourselves back home.
Whether it’s with a candle, a bay leaf, a chant, a bowl of water, or a flush of a toilet, what matters most is the presence and intention behind it.
You don’t need to claim a tradition to honor your own process.
If it feels meaningful to you, if it brings clarity, if it lets you breathe deeper, that’s enough.
That’s real.
Section 2: One Way It Can Look
Learning about the origins of things is one of my favorite parts of working with energy. But circling back to the point of all this, recently, I helped someone close to me do a cord-cutting release.
As we explored earlier, there are so many different traditions, tools, and paths when it comes to releasing energy. And while I always respect the roots of practices, I also believe that we all have the ability to intuit what works best for us. Using tools and rituals that actually resonate with you will always be more powerful than forcing something that doesn’t.
It doesn’t have to be dramatic or intense. It doesn’t have to involve blood or bones or anything that makes you feel uncomfortable. And if it does, that’s your call. No judgment either way. I’m simply saying: ritual doesn’t need to be complicated to be real.
My usual go-to for cord cutting is the classic candle and twine method. But that wasn’t going to work in this space, she lives in an apartment, and we weren’t looking to set off the smoke alarm or fill the room with fire energy that didn’t fit. So I meditated on it and asked what the moment needed.
I wrote down a short chant that came through during meditation and used my pendulum, something I often do when I’m preparing to support someone, to help guide which tools to bring. The pieces came together naturally: a mortar and pestle, two bay leaves, a lighter, my malachite necklace, and my cards, just in case.
What the Ritual Looked Like
We opened a bottle of wine, sat together, and talked for a bit before beginning. She had already lit a few candles in her space, which helped set the tone, warm, focused, and calm.
When it felt right, I handed her the two bay leaves and had her write her name on one, and the other person’s name on the second. She placed them into the mortar and used the pestle to crush them slowly, visualizing the energetic ties between them dissolving as she ground the leaves down into pieces.
When she was ready, we walked to the bathroom. I handed her the notebook with the chant I had written, and she read it out loud as she dumped the crushed remains into the toilet.
Then, and this is where the sacred meets the real, she looked at me and said she felt called to pee on it. I stepped out and let her do her thing. And just like that, it was done.
Afterward, she told me she felt a tightness in her chest, almost like a lingering pain, or the energy trying to hold on a little longer before it fully cleared. That’s not uncommon. Releasing energy sometimes comes with physical sensations. We talked about it, and I handed her my malachite necklace, which I’d brought for this very reason, to support her heart and energy field as she adjusted to the shift.
At the end of this chapter, I’ll share the full version of the ritual and the chant, in case anyone feels called to try it for themselves, or adapt it in their own way.
Next, we’ll explore why each of these elements mattered, and the symbolism behind every part of the ritual, because even the simplest things hold deep meaning when used with intention.
Section 3: The Symbolism Behind the Tools
In any ritual, whether it’s something passed down through generations or something you intuitively create, every item should hold meaning.
We are the power.
The tools we use aren’t what make the energy move, we do.
But everything carries its own frequency. When we bring those frequencies into a ritual space with intention, they amplify what we’re trying to shift, release, or call in. They help shape the energy, give it direction, and mark the transition physically as well as energetically.
That’s why I don’t use tools just for the sake of using them. I tune in, ask, and let the moment guide what’s needed.
Here’s what each item represented in this particular ritual:
Bay Leaves
Bay leaves have long been used for spiritual and energetic work. Across different traditions, they’ve been known for:
- Clearing negativity
- Protection
- Manifestation and release
In this ritual, the bay leaves acted as a symbolic representation of the connection. One carried her name, the other carried his. Writing the names gave the tie a physical form, and as she crushed the leaves, she was also breaking that energetic bond.
They’re simple. Natural. And powerful when used with clear intention.
Marble Mortar & Pestle
The mortar and pestle we used wasn’t just any tool, it was a solid marble one, heavy in the hands, with soft marbling in orange and cream tones. The weight of it alone brings a kind of grounding. It’s cool to the touch, dense, unshakable.
This tool held the energy of:
- Stability — something strong enough to hold the work
- Transformation — a place where things are broken down to be rebuilt
- Earth energy — marble is a natural stone, connected to the body and to time itself
Crushing the bay leaves in that vessel made the act of releasing feel physical, real, and final. She wasn’t just imagining the ties dissolving, she was feeling it in her body, with every motion.
The Chant
I had meditated before arriving and wrote the chant in my ritual notebook.
It was short, rhymed, and clear. Nothing dramatic, just a few lines that gave shape to the moment.
Speaking a chant helps:
- Seal an intention
- Activate the energy through voice
- Mark the release as complete
It doesn’t need to be long or poetic; just honest. Personally, I just like mine to rhyme, lol. Words have a way of anchoring the unseen.
Candles
She had already lit candles in the space before I arrived, which naturally shifted the energy of the room. Candlelight has a way of softening things, it holds the space without overpowering it.
Candles represent:
- Illumination
- Presence
- Elemental balance (bringing in fire, safely and calmly)
They weren’t the focus, but they helped warm the space and support the work quietly in the background.
The Toilet (and the Release)
Flushing the crushed leaves was the physical release, sending the remnants of that energetic connection away. It was clear, easy, and final.
Before she flushed it, she looked at me and said she felt called to pee on it, so I stepped out and gave her the space.
It might sound unexpected (and yeah, maybe her bladder had something to say),
but I honestly think something deeper in her knew that would seal the deal.
I believe it was a full-body release, old pain, stuck energy, unspoken rage, let go in the most instinctual way and a final piss off.
I thought it was hilarious but also very powerful.
Malachite
Malachite is a heart stone, but it’s not gentle in the way rose quartz is. Malachite goes deep, it transforms, protects, and helps release blocked emotions and stagnant energy from the body.
I had felt called to bring my malachite necklace, and gave it to her afterward.
Not as part of the ritual itself, but as a form of energetic aftercare.
It offered:
- Support to her heart as she recalibrated
- Protection as her field adjusted
- Something grounding to wear as she integrated the shift
Wine + Conversation
Before we did anything, we sat down, poured some wine, and just talked.
This wasn’t part of the “ritual” technically, but energetically, it mattered.
That moment helped:
- Relax the nervous system
- Make the space feel safe and non-performative
- Set the tone that this wasn’t about getting it “right”, just being real
Ritual doesn’t start when the tools come out.
It starts when the energy shifts. Sometimes that shift begins in conversation.
In the end, it wasn’t the tools or I that made the ritual powerful.
She did. Her intentions and desire to let go finally did.
The tools simply gave her something to hold, something to move through, something to ground her intention in the physical world.
You don’t need a long list of items or a perfect setup to let go of something that’s been living in your energy.
What you need is intention, honesty, and the willingness to let it leave.
Even the smallest action, if it means something to you, can carry deep magic.
It’s not about how it looks. It’s about how it feels.
And when it’s real, it works.
Section 4: What Is a Ritual, Really?
I personally love rituals.
They feel magical to me, and connect me with my inner child.
They help me focus my intention, quiet my mind, and move energy in a way that’s both beautiful and grounding.
They’ve helped me heal more chapters than I can count, releasing old emotions, stories, beliefs, and energy that didn’t belong to me anymore.
They’ve taught me things I didn’t even know I needed to learn.
Rituals are also fun.
They can be playful, creative, sacred, or simple, whatever the moment calls for.
But most of all, I feel safe when I’m in ritual space.
I feel connected and protected.
I feel held, by God, by my angels, my guides, and by the quiet wisdom of something bigger than me.
So… What Is a Ritual?
Rituals don’t have to be elaborate, ancient, or approved by anyone but your own spirit.
At their core, rituals are intentional actions designed to help us mark a moment, to create a container around something important, whether it’s a beginning, an ending, or a shift in between.
They help us slow down, get present, and give shape to something invisible.
Whether it’s grief, release, gratitude, clarity, or celebration, rituals help us feel it in our bodies.
They remind us that we’re part of something bigger than the loop in our heads.
And that matters.
Why Rituals Actually Work
From a psychological standpoint, rituals help us feel anchored in moments that might otherwise feel chaotic or unclear.
They offer us a sense of control, meaning, and closure, especially in situations where the emotional energy is layered, unresolved, or hard to name.
When we don’t have a clear way to process something — like a breakup, a personal shift, or even an old story we’ve carried too long, the energy of it can just hang there. It lingers in the body, in the mind, in the heart.
Ritual interrupts that cycle.
It says, “This is the moment I choose to acknowledge this. This is where it ends. Or begins. Or changes.”
Because rituals are physical, even in small ways, they pull us out of our heads and into our bodies.
They engage the senses: we see the flame, we feel the object in our hands, we speak the words, we hear the shift in our own voice.
That kind of embodied action helps the nervous system process what the mind might be looping through, giving the body something to do with the emotion. It can release tension. It can soften anxiety. And it can open a pathway for real healing to begin.
Spiritually & Energetically
Ritual is a form of communication.
It’s how we speak to the unseen, to Spirit, the universe, our higher selves, our ancestors, or God.
When we take physical action with clear intention, we’re sending a signal.
Not just to the world around us, but to ourselves.
We’re saying:
“I’m ready.”
“I’m done.”
“I release this.”
“I welcome what’s next.”
It’s not really about forcing anything.
It’s more about creating movement, aligning your inner truth with outer action.
That’s when energy shifts.
Because when you speak clearly, the universe listens.
When you act with intention, your soul does too.
You Make It Sacred
A ritual doesn’t become sacred merely based on its appearance. Instead, it gains its sacredness from the energy, intention, and honesty behind it.
Simple acts like lighting a candle, saying a few words, tearing up a piece of paper, or placing a stone on your chest can be powerful. Even lighting a candle and saying a prayer can hold significant meaning when performed with sincerity and intention.
When these small actions are carried out with presence and purpose, they become doorways. These doorways lead you from one version of your story into another.
Section 5: Returning to the Why
When I first sat down to write this, I didn’t expect it to turn into a whole breakdown of ritual and energy work.
I just felt called to share a real moment, something small, powerful, and true.
I know how this might sound.
And believe me, I’m aware some people might think I’m a little out there for saying all this, especially since I offer intuitive services and energy work.
But I’ll still say it.
Because my goal has never been to “save” anyone.
I don’t claim to know better or be better than any other person. We are all different and you will get something different from each and every one.
This work, the sessions, the writing, the offerings, it’s not about building a brand or making people think I have the answers.
It’s about something much deeper.
It’s about walking with people as they remember their own wisdom.
It’s about helping them shift, release, heal, and grow, not because I have the answers, but because I can hold space while they find them.
I’m here to remind people of their own light.
To offer perspective.
To mirror back their beauty.
And to, much like Glinda in The Wizard of Oz, show them that the power was within them the whole time.
I offer intuitive services.
I do readings. I guide energy. I hold space.
But more than anything, I hold up the mirror.
And I hope what people see in it is enough to change their lives.
Because we are all beautiful in our own unique ways, and we each have so much to offer the world, simply by being who we were always meant to be.
Just you.
Section 6: A Simple Ritual + The Chant
If you feel called to try a ritual like the one I described, here’s a gentle framework you can follow or adapt to your own needs.
Remember: the details don’t have to be exact.
What matters is your intention, your honesty, and your presence.
✦ What You’ll Need (optional — follow what resonates):
- 2 bay leaves (or pieces of paper)
- A pen
- A mortar & pestle (or simply your hands)
- A candle
- A lighter or matches
- A safe place to release the remains (like a toilet or compost bin)
- Your voice
- A quiet moment
✦ The Steps
- Set the space
Light a candle. Take a few breaths. You can play music, sip tea or wine, or do whatever helps you feel calm and present. - Write the names
On each bay leaf (or paper), write the names of the people involved, yours and theirs. - Crush and visualize
Place them in the mortar and begin to grind them slowly.
As you do, visualize the energetic tie between you dissolving. No anger, just release. Gratitude if it’s there. Clarity if it’s not. - Say the words
When you’re ready to release, speak the following chant out loud:
The Chant
- The lessons are learned, the chapter is done,
The ties are now severed, the bond is undone.
What came to teach us has played its part,
We now release this tie and walk apart.
The lesson is clear, the season is through,
I release the connection and return to me, whole and true.
- Let it go
Dispose of the remains in whatever way feels right, flushing, burying, tossing into a river, or burning safely.
If your body calls for something extra, movement, tears, some weird pose, laughter, even peeing (no judgment here!), let it happen. That’s part of the release, too. - Close the ritual
Blow out the candle. Thank the energy, your guides, and yourself.
Sit in silence for a moment and just feel what’s shifted.
If you have a supportive crystal or talisman (like malachite), wear or carry it afterward as a reminder of your strength and clarity.
Thank You for Reading
Thank you so much for being here.
I hope this story and ritual reminded you that healing doesn’t have to be perfect, it just has to be real.
If you’d like more support, I created a digital workbook full of gentle, soulful practices to help you ground, release, and reconnect:
✨ Sacred Space: Rituals for Healing, Releasing & Remembering
📥 Available for purchase here:
👉 hellbloomhaven.com/product/sacred-space-rituals-for-healing-releasing-rembering
You’ll find simple rituals, prayers, journal prompts, and space to create your own practices, all rooted in presence, not perfection.
You can also explore intuitive sessions, energy healing, affirmation decks, tees, and more here at
🌙 www.hellbloomhaven.com
Thank you for letting me share this with you.
Your journey is sacred.
And you’ve always had the magic inside you.
With love,
Wendi Kehn
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